It's called Privilege and you have it

 Let's talk about privilege. Before we get into the nitty gritty of this topic we must first establish that I've had a light addiction to Big Brother since 2020. it waxes and wanes depending on how busy i am but an obsession regardless. Now you're probably thinking "What's that got to do with privilege?" well patience. it will all make sense in a bit. and yes i know, it is a bit wild for me to come back here and pretend i haven't been gone for at least 9 months now.... that i can't explain. at least not now.

 Now for context i must let you know how i found myself thinking about Privilege. In line with my usual obsession, I'm currently watching big brother and today the topic of struggle came up. Someone did not like being associated with their money or people thinking that because they had money they did not struggle. Valid. but it also got me thinking. No one ever said that they didn't struggle. and that right there is what got me thinking about what it means to be privileged. 

We must first understand what privilege is. I think about privilege like the add ons to your character in a game except this ones you can't choose. Some have more add ons than others. and all of these all exist on top or beside of each other. Therefore, if the goal in this makeshift game of ours is to stop evil vampires from taking the princess, having a sword as an add on would be pretty cool, right? but imagine if another character in this game had super speed and a sword? and another just super speed or another superspeed, a sword , and invisibility? wouldn't that put them at an advantage? 

i think life is a little like that, in that through no fault of our own we are sometimes born into certain advantages that protect us or at least soften the blow of life. For instance, I am an able-bodied, fairly educated young woman from a middle class family. This means that for one i've never had to struggle to access building, or communicate or get jobs or receive working or study material because of a disability. I've breezed through life on that end. That is my privilege. Now does this mean I have never struggled? No. But it means in a country where the elevators are barely working in our establishments I have never been unable to access a building because of that. if i was to need a job and had to log my visit to do that, then i'd do just fine. but someone who's in a wheelchair, or any working aid may not be able to visit a building without a working elevator, they may not be able to hold that pen and sign in if they are blind. All of us exist in a concoction of privilege . some more than others. 

I talk about this because growing up I didn't understand this. especially when my mental health started to deteriorate. a lot of people would say, at least you're well off. at least your mother works a great job. Like that has ever stopped anyone from struggling with depression and anxiety. the people who said it never were saying it from a good place honestly, just from a place of invalidation but that's not my point today. My point is I know that what they really meant is that I am privileged, and it didn't matter that i said i wasn't always. but I was and I am privileged. My struggles never came from living below the poverty line, nor were they made worse by my economic class. in fact they had no bearing on it whatsoever. but they struggled regardless. 

A lot of the times when people point out our privilege we become defensive. like we are being attacked. or our journeys are being invalidated. Can people be insensitive about how they go about this conversation? oh yes absolutely. but does it negate the realness of our privilege? No. it does not. We all exist on some level of privilege, the privilege either helps us get into doors, be more respected or even stay alive or it's never the determining factor in our struggle in that we don't struggle because of that trait or characteristic. For instance, because I am able bodied, the fact that there was a time when the elevator at NRH was not working never bothered me. I don't even like elevators. it never affected my life, nor did it hinder the activities i did there. but someone it did. and that by no means makes me any less prone to struggle it just means that isnt My struggle and that to me is privilege. 

Again, we are all a combination, concoction of different labels and traits. Race, socio-economic class, ability, gender identity, sex, sexuality, and many more. all of us exist somewhere in these areas. with a combination of them all. it doesn't mean that you won't have any struggles, life is hectic for all of us. you absolutely will. but it does mean that your area of privilege will help you out of some things. It should never however be the case that we invalidate people and their experiences because of their privilege. struggle is struggle my people. hard times are consistent for all of us. 

Let us remember to use our privilege for others, to speak up, advocate and fight for inclusivity and equity.  Mostly let us remember to be kind, empathetic and considerate even in showing others and ourselves our privilege. GIve yourself the grace to relearn and give others the grace to be human