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Character development

 I’ve been so wrapped up in my own emotions or pretty much so wrapped up in my efforts to stop feeling that I pretty much shut everything off for the last month or so. I know I’m doing it again because I haven’t been able to write anything on here and I don’t even know if this will be the first to make it out of the drafts.

 You know how in books or movie they'll throw in a crazy plot twist or a tragedy or a betrayal just so that the main character can learn something, become someone, and have their moment? or that point in the bad guy's life where they decide that the course, they are taking is villainhood?? I think they call it a villain arc?? whatever you may wanna call it I’m just simply going through it. I keep saying, that my life is a low budget horror film, and I’m the main character in this franchise surviving every single time. and in any other case I’d be happy to "overcome" but what doesn’t kill you leaves you with trauma and in turn therapists bills (and the occasional money blown on trivial things).

in the last 3 month I; 

1. got a tattoo

2. got my poetry in an exhibition

3. got a boyfriend

4. broke up with said boyfriend

5. felt like an outsider 

6. got a new boy obsession

7. got over said obsession

8. embarrassed myself

9. embarrassed myself again

10. found out said ex was cheating

11. made up with an old friend

12. lost contact with a friend

13. embarrassed me again

14. increased my alcohol tolerance 

15. started school

16. realised people were staring at my tattoos. side note here; you can’t pray these tattoos off from my body and yes, I’m aware I’m going to hell. and yes, my parents are okay with them. and yes, I am getting another 

17. I’m enjoying school???? weird

Look, this list could go on forever. it’s easier to do this than to explain in detail how I’ve been doing. I’ve just been doing. literally nothing else. so, if by any chance you think I’m being weird, I probably am. its character development or I’m just entering my villain era. 

I genuinely have no idea what I’m doing, I feel like I’m strapped into a chair in the cock pit and I’m being told to save the plane. I can’t even drive, what more a plane? there’s so much more I want to say, but I’ll say it better when I’m done transforming into whatever or whomever I’m going to be next. 

Signed,

A little lost girlie.


Comments

  1. Anonymous08 November, 2022 04:21

    🥺Damn! You can write 🔥. Everytime I read your blogs, I always relate. It’s like you’ve opened my heart and took out everything I’ve been meaning to say but can’t.

    I’m glad to say I always look forward to reading more of what goes on in your mind. You know when you realise that you aren’t alone in this messy life thingy. That we all trying it despite the things it throws at us. We don’t have much of a choice anyway, but thank you for being bold enough to share all these🤞. I might not comment on every blog, but every chance I get to read and go through them I’m impressed. I personally appreciate. And let’s continue giving this “life thingy” a chance, maybe, and just maybe, it will make sense some day.

    ReplyDelete
  2. B08 November, 2022 17:48

    Benga, you fly a plane, you don't drive it 👀😂😂😋
    Sounds like quite the metamorphosis you're going through. Don't forget to meditate with all this going on

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous08 November, 2022 19:52

    Yesss! Here for the villain arc🤗🤗 let's turn this low budget horror movie into a badass Lara Croft movies. I always enjoy these and your list has inspired to write down what I've done in the past three months and reflect ❤️

    ReplyDelete
  4. Relebohile Kabelo12 November, 2022 15:15

    ❤🥺

    ReplyDelete

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