Love Lingos

 

Well, it’s been hectic. It sorta feels like I am in a bad movie with a low budget and even worse food on set. Long story short June was longggggggggggg (I could make that word longer but you get the point it was really long). Weird isn’t it, how 30 days can feel so dragged out. Anyway, I think I am okay. Life has definitely been doing the life things and I haven’t wrapped my head around it yet. Adulting looks so much easier from the benches.

Let’s leave June. And get into love, more specifically love languages. And no, we aren’t talking about French. Although the best way to get to my heart is through French and a trip to Paris. For most of us we know what love languages are, we know that they are the way we give and receive love, we know that there are five love languages, namely, words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time, acts of service, and receiving gifts. What we normally never really give a lot of thought to is how they affect our relationships with others.

Earlier this year I had an epiphany, we need to learn to love people in their love languages and learn to understand how others express their love. A lot of times we are so steadfast in our own ways and our own habits that we forget to be intentional in the way we love the people in our lives. Its hardly ever due to malicious intent, it is almost always due to fact that it is what we know and is what comes natural to us. In the same breath though, I do not believe in crucifying someone because they cannot conform to what you want. I believe in understanding, understanding that even though your partner is aware that you prefer quality time over acts of services, what usually will come easier to them is acts of service and as such we need to recognise that there was effort put in. I know this sounds contradictory but the idea is to find a balance, a way to balance intentionally loving people in a language they receive well with how you communicate your love best.

I had to learn through friendships to love people how they want (need) to be loved, and not just my way. Not just the Reatile way, but also their way. I am not gonna lie, it feels like rocket science, only because all I have ever known is how to love my way and I expected for every body else to love me the way I wanted to be loved. Finding that sweet goldilocks zone is an ongoing challenge for me, I continue to try and understand that just because they are busy with this life thing and cannot spend time with me doesn’t mean they care any less (sometimes they don’t, trust me, but that’s another topic). While simultaneously, learning how to spot their way of saying I care, I’m here and you know all that mushy stuff. Like I said, balance dear child, balance.

COMMUNICATE. Communicate your love languages with our partners and have the conversations with you parents and friends too. Talk about the giving and the receiving of love, find a sweet sort that works for you. It won’t be easy. It probably requires a bit of a deep dive into why you love the way you do and why you expect to be loved in a certain way. Do not neglect that the way you give love isn’t always the way you want to receive love. It all boils down to communication. Talk it out.

 Ayt, Imma head out.....(insert spongebob meme)

Until next time… remember to be kind, we already have enough problems with everything that’s going on.